| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2006|03:24 am] |
I'm so frustrated with everything in my life right now. I need a vacation or a new exciting friend to talk to on late nights like this. |
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| The lights |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|02:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | coldplay | ] |
"With their lights, we cease our fears of varied evils by taking comfort in their warmth and glow."
-Me |
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| my life. |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|02:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Biohazard | ] |
I've hit a point in my life when I'm seriously ready for something else, a new location, maybe some new friends, a new girl. I'm just tired of where my life has gone, its getting boring. I'm doing the same things, going to the same shows. It is almost as tho i'm living the past, except i'm not in high school. This past month has been so frustrating, its crazy how when so many little things build up and then friend who never thought would disappoint you. The worst part in this, theres no one there to talk to, no one to listen, like in the past. That person is gone, those people are so distance. I'm wondering if girls are as shady as they seem or if its just me over analizing the situation. I don't even know why i'm using this right now. I need sleep, a vacation, a job. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|01:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the ringing in my ears i guess | ] |
i chipped my tooth tonight at the HOODS video shoot, shit was rad. thats all, take care everyone.
-Jesse |
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| Flickr |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|03:04 am] |
This is a test post from  , a fancy photo sharing thing. |
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| I'M COPYING JACKIE |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|01:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | in control | ] |
Layer.one
Name: Jesse Enfield
Birthdate: February 2nd
Birthplace: orangevale, ca
Current location: orangevale, ca
Eyes: blue
Hair: brownish red
Height: 5'11 1/2
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: aquarious
Layer.two
Your heritage: scottish and german
Your weakness: currently my right arm still, and i have a weakness for cute girls in glass's.
Your shoes you wore today: blue sperry topsiders
Your fears: falling, spiders, snakes, being alone,dying
Your perfect pizza: pesto
Goal you'd like to achieve: finish college and make something of myself.
Layer.three
Your thoughts first waking up: am i in neverland yet?
Your best physical feature: eyes, legs, hands.
Your bedtime: anytime i'm tired enough to fall asleep.
Your most missed memory: well if its missed that means i don't remember.
Layer.four
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: nasty
Single or group dates: single date, then we can fool around.
Adidas or Nike: both companies suck. sperry is where its at.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: arizona ice tea.
Chocolate or vanilla: i like them mixed
Cappuccino or coffee: coffee, or latte.
Layer.five
Smoke: i would shoot myself if i did
Cuss: fuck you
Sing: in the shower, in my car, at shows sometimes
Take showers daily: maybe depends
Have a crush: of course i do silly.
Think you've been in love: yep i have
Want to go college: i'm in it.
Want to get married: yes when i'm ready.
Believe in yourself: yes for the most part.
Get motion sickness: i'm no vagina
Think you're attractive: sometimes.
Think you're a health freak: pshhh i just ate a bowl of cereal and its 1:37pm
Get along with your parents: yes i do
Like thunderstorms: fuck yeah its amazing.
Play an instrument: meh
Layer.six - in the past months
Gone to the mall: i went 6 hours ago
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: i did last month
Eaten sushi: fish is so nasty
Been on stage: yeah many a times.
Gone skating: used to skate lots, now only skate on occasion
Made homemade cookies: nope
Gone skinny dipping: nope
Dyed your hair: maybe tomorrow
Stolen anything: hahaha i stole a pair of sunglasses last week
Layer.seven - ever..
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yeah its been a long time
Been called a tease: hahah yes i have
Got beaten up: nope
Layer.eight
Age you hoped to be married: 30's
Number and name of children: 2 i want to name my girl aviana, well maybe.
Dream wedding: something far from any city
How do you want to die: from behind so i don't know
Where do you want to attend college: um well i'm in college, but it would be cool to go down south.
Dream job: photographer would be awesome.
Country you want to visit: england
Layer.nine - In a guy/girl...
Best eye color: blue
Best hair color: i'm fine with any
Short or long hair: i'm not picky
Height: short i love short girls, well i guess and girls that are a few inches shorter
Best weight: skinny, or a little chubby
Best clothing: is the kinda i can take of easily
Best first date location: thats my secret bitch!
Best first kiss location: not telling you.
Layer.ten
Number of drugs taken illegally: uno
Number of people I could trust with my life: like 3
Number of CDs that I own: over a 100 maybe 200
Number of piercings: 0
Number of tattoos: none, i'm clean
Number of times my name's been in the news: probably 15 times.
Number of scars on my body: dude everywhere. i'm a guy
Number of things in my past that I regret.: the bridge.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|12:19 am] |
|
I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD. |
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| KTD lyrics |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|12:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | SONG TO MY LIFE | ] |
SING. You've heard this all before. These words are yours. SCREAM. You've felt this way before, and you're feeling it again. Sometimes it seems, we're the ones who hope forget. But sometimes, it seems, we're the ones who forget to hope and you're feeling it again. These words are yours, So SCREAM, EVERYONE. Because we're feeling it again. SCREAM EVERYONE. SO FUCK IT ALL, lets burn everything. It was never ours to lose. Our sight is gone, what we see is what we hear and what we feel we'ldd believe. WE'RE ALL FUCKED, SO FUCK IT ALL. There's nothing we can do. We're all going down on this ship we'll never make it home. Nothing ever changes. Because everything was meant to FAIL. And we're feeling it again. SCREAM.
amazing song, amazing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|12:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | John Mayer (i know kinda weird) | ] |
name 10 things that make you happy,
in random order.
then tag 5 people...
1. currently, the thought of a girl.
2. meeting up with an old friend on friday.
3. Seeing Journey live on Friday.
4. the thought of getting a new camera.
5. golf.
6. how much i love my family.
7. saturday night bowling.
8. Hilary(i miss her, best friends need to not move away)
9. the feeling that everything is gonna be ok.
10. the hope that my dream comes true and i marry the girl that lives in them.
TAGGING: AManDUH, Ashley JEan, AVIGETTER, Angel Baby, 1956x |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|05:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | acceptance | ] |
1.What Time is it now?
5:28 pm
2.Single or taken?
single
3.What does your name mean?
Jesse - "gift"
4.Who picked it?
parents i dunno
5.whats your nickname?
pootie
6.What color are your eyes?
blue
7.Do you have an innie or an outie?
innie.
8.What size are your shoes?
9.5
9.How tall (or short) are you?
5"11"
10.Honestly what do you like about yourself?
I'm athletic
11.What do you always get complimented on?
Eyes, Lips
12.worst quality?
laziness.
13.What are the last four digits of your phone Number?
6845
14.Do you think you're cute?
sometimes i guess
15.Hair colour?
brown and red
16. Do u wear contacts?
nope i have good vision
17.Living Arrangements?
stuck with parents,due to debt
18.Favorite drink?
green tea
19.Favorite alcoholic drink?
i don't drink
20.Favorite Month?
april i dunno
21.Favorite Food?
cereal
22.Favorite Board Game?
life
24.Favourite Clothing Brand?
J.Crew
25.Favorite day of the Year?
don't have one really
26.Favorite colour?
navy, golden cricket
27.Favorite animal?
ducks
28.Do you have more girl or boy friends?
dunno probably guys
29.Who's your best friends?
ash, hilary, becca, chris, anthony
30.Are your parents together?
yes but no
31.How often do you get together with the family?
quite often actually
32.Do you see your parents or your friends more?
parents
33. Anything special about your parents?
they sleep in separate rooms
34.Siblings and their ages.
1, 22
35.u think you are a flirt?
i can be, sure
36.You're slutty?
nope
37.you're Mean?
nope
38.You like someone?
yes i do
39.You can keep secrets?
oh yeah i sure can
40.You dance in front of the mirror?
fuck yes
41.You sing in the shower?
of course
42.You liked Britney Spears?
nope she's a slut
43.You've liked a cousin?
nooooooo
44.you've been in the opposites bathrooms?
hahahaha yeah a couple of times, i don't know how to read signs apparently
45.ever hurt anyone?
yeah
46.You've been hurt?
yesss
47.You swear?
yes i do
48.You get your way?
no not really
49.You're willing to try new things?
yes i really am
50.You've cheated on a test?
yeah i have
51.What are you wearing?
shorts shirt stuff
52.What color are your pants?
green
53.What are you listening to?
acceptance
54.How are you feeling?
tired as hell
55.what are you doing now?
taking this dumbass
56.What are you eating?
i'm not
57.How's the weather?
hot dry
58.What books are you reading?
catcher in the rye, again
77. the last movie you saw?
harry potter 3
78. what did you have for dinner?
i haven't had dinner yet
79. what are hoping for?
a job and money so i can do things
80.What movie do you really want to see?
i dont' want to see any
81.Where is your favorite place to travel?
the beach
82.What did you last dream about?
i really don't know
83.What was the last thing you ate?
garlic french fries
84.If you were a crayon what color what would you be?
green
85.Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
ashley
87.Ever had a crush on a teacher?
yes i have, she was 26 and way hot!
88.Are you too shy to ask someone out?
no i'm not
89.Scary movies or happy ending?
happy ending, but too cheesy
90.Summer or winter?
winter
91.Relationships or one night stands?
friendships
92.Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream?
kinda sounds gross right now
93.Do you want your friends to write back?
no
94.Who is most likely to respond?
no body
95.Who is least likely to respond?
frank sinatra
96.What did you do last night?
went to a show, saw a girl hit a car on her bike, hung out with people
97.Anything else you want to add?
my feet hurt and i smell like sunblock
98.Time finishing?
5:50 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|01:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | copeland | ] |
Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.
like a wrestling match, but which side wins?
Love wins. Love always wins. |
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| wtf is going on? |
[May. 29th, 2005|04:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Waiting For Autumn | ] |
seriously wtf. you know what i don't get? is how someone that is such an asshole to everyone and all he really cares about is himself and trying to impress others, gets things to go right for him. i mean what the fuck is that. he never does shit for anyone, never does anything for the community, makes fun of people constantly, throws shit at people walking down the street, rips people off even his own friends, acts like a immature baby when things happen to him, and happens to be on of the biggest idiots you know. then gets things to go for him like, winning a car, never getting pulled over even tho he goes 20 over the speed limit everywhere, never gets caught or in trouble for all the bad shit he does, always get deals on things, get all the attention by doing the same thing you just did. i mean seriously what the hell?
then you, get caught for speeding and accidently go thru a carpool toll booth because you read the sign wrong, get arrested for something you weren't or barely involved in, and now are on probation, ruining your life for the next 3 years, fail 3 classes that you do all of your work in, break your arm in 2 places during your favorite band, then it never fully healing, then to top it off the one friend you love and go to talk to for you problems leaves you, then girls trying to fuck with you and succeedding, and basically everything you do you get screwed over, and too top it off your family pet the nicest animal ever, dies. With all this happening you are being nice to everyone, not being a dick, doing things for your friend like take them to shows and not asking for gas money cause you know they are broke, go to the doctor 8 times and get 4 different X-rays, working for free, smile and be polite to everyone, do as much possible for my friends who ask for help. seriously there is something wrong. something is fucked up! i mean i guess i could say i am jealous, but good shit shouldn't happen to assholes like him. i really dont' get what all is going on. how can this happen.
These bad things are really started to eat at me, i feel like nothing is going right, and i know nothing is going right, ever since i got my carpool violation ticket, it has just got down hill. I swear bad things just keep happening and happening to me, i can honestly say there is some good, but in no way, no way balance out the bad, i'm seriously going fucking crazy over hear. I swear if something really good doesn't happen soon i'm gonna loose it. I'm being eaten alive. and its so obvious, the way i act, the way i talk, the way i engage in conversation, how i act with friends, how i treat friends, how i treat my parents and even the people i love. These are all getting affected by my never ending misfortune.
god i need someone in my life that will be there for me. i need a love, a friend, someone that will listen and give the same compassion that i show them. god i need hilary or someone like hilary. i have never met someone like her, that can make me go from depressed to incredibly happy. i need someone that can do that. i need someone who will understand me and won't be afraid share her emotions. this sucks, its truly sucks. i just wish things would get better, i can't take this hell anymore. i need out, i need out. |
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| eternal sunshine of a spotless mind |
[May. 24th, 2005|03:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | exanimate | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i have first to leave stuck in my head | ] |
today has been so long. so yesterday as in sunday i decided to stay up all night cause i had a final at 7 in the morning and usually i don't go to sleep till 3 or 4 at night so i said fuck it, and pulled an all nighter. so i drank tea and chatted with a friend for a few hours. then later, well i watched the sun come up, which was awesome. it was a weird day tho i went to my final took it went home and and tried to sleep, but it was really bright in my room, but finally i fell asleep. so i woke up at 2:29 a minute before my alarm was set by a friend who i haven't talked to in a long time, so it was cool, but when i woke up it really seemed as tho i had never gone to sleep, i mean i was awake but it just seemed like it was the same day. so soon after i met up with a friend at jamba juice and talked for hours. kinda random, then later my friend gave me a bag of 40 condoms. Really weird but thats pretty much the past 2 days. so still it feels like its sunday. i kinda like this feeling. it brings balance to a more or less structure life. i need more of these, and anyone wants to join you are welcome to do so. in all i had fun. this weird couple of days have made me realize how much fun you can have by not really doing anything at all, just sitting back and enjoying sporadic events that occur.
also i just watched the movie in which this entry is titled, and it really make me think of how i need to really hold on to what i have, and have fun with it, cause it won't be there forever, this is the kinda thing i have been looking for. sorta the guidance i have been looking for. i know its not like a guide but the idea behind it and the meaning of it all just makes me really think about what i'm doing in my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2005|04:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the new starting line | ] |
so my weekend consisted of driving to santa cruz, seeing NFG live and almost breaking my thumb, then getting no sleep, meeting up with friends, and going shopping for records, going to the boardwalk, watching seals on the beach, and eating caramel apples and corndogs. I would say overall it was pretty amazing, it was a nice short vacation!
these are all just pictures I thought were good or really cute....god I love the beach, iI seriously think beaches are the most beautiful thing ever...like you could be mad, sad, or everything could be going wrong, but if you go to the beach all these things vanish away, and all you think about is happy things like candy, disney movies, kick ball and how much you love your family.. I wish I could go to the beach every day, i would never ever be unhappy!
I just wish I could take all you wonderful people with me, so we could all be happy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2005|05:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee | ] |
k so i'm gonna start this up again i promise!
if you want me to write more write me responses and i will, or else i will delete LJ forever! |
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| thoughts of the current |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|01:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Killing the Dream - 39th and glisan | ] |
So as it seems, that as time goes on things for me in sacramento seem to get worse. For one, i have horrible grades and will most likely be getting kicked out of school. Second, the relationship with my friends seems to always worsen, like now a days i am always left out of things, not that i really care, but like me and my friends don't seem to have the same close bond as before. for example joking around doesn't happen anymore, its like i'm not funny to them or they could care less, i dunno tho. It seems at one point or another everyone was all one big family, and now we are all distant, that our friendships turned to acquaintances, and to small talk that is never fulfilling. I know everyone has their own life to attend to, but i just wish we could all have that same friend as once before, things were so much better then.
Maybe its just me, could i be the one that has changed, i suppose its entirely possible, i mean i have been going through a lot this past year which has changed my thinking and my attitude. You would think that with what has happened in the past would make me cherish every moment of my life, but no, i always have this feeling that i'm missing something and that i'm alone. I have come to realize that no matter how happy i wake up, or no matter how great my day is going, it still is not the best that it can be, with the missing part in my life, there is a big gap that is missing from my day. My day that is what most would say great, yet i feel is only a small portion of what it could be. I'm tired of this feeling, it has been dragging on with me for so long, i almost feel like it will never be lifted. I feel it will someday, someday soon i surely hope. Because this has been stressing me out for sometime now, and its started it hit me hard. I really need you in my life, i need to see your face everyday, i need to feel your hand, and the smoothness of your face. This i think is the key to my happiness, because when i am with you i feel like greatest i have ever felt and i need that feeling. Its what i long for and what i desire. Without you i am lost. Without you, i am nothing. Without you, i am miserable. This feeling needs to stop, i can't take it anymore, i am so lonely. I just need you here. Come to me. Please, i have to have you here with me. I just want to be happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|01:01 am] |
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whats funny is, this stupid electricglam group! i didn't do shit to get in it! hahahahahaha sucks for all you loosers who had to do stuff to get in! hahaha suckers! |
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| V-DAY |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|01:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | trial | ] |
-EVERYONE BE POSITIVE!
-AND-
-KEEP YOUR HEADS UP!
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| this, i feel is love |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|02:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | copeland | ] |
i really think i might have found the one...i have never felt this way about anyone. everytime i see your face, everytime i hear your voice, everytime i see your name i get a warm feeling inside that is so overwhelming i just dont' know how to describe it...you just make me feel so amazing, it feels like i'm soaring in the clouds, without a worry,without a doubt, without a care for anything else, except you. i have have never felt happiness of this magnitude.
thank you for giving me this feeling, you really are amazing. |
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ihatecellphones's journal
frustrated